Freedom

In your freedom I will live

I offer devotion

~Hillsong

I have meant to chat about this for a while now but I have not been around much. Trying to keep to my goal of blogging once a week though.

Something that I have found myself in reoccurring struggle is the fact that I often fail to realize the freedom that  I have in Christ and what he has done for me. My default thought pattern is be the most right as possible so you can get the best mark and be as smart as possible because that is what I am a smart person. SO when I am not right or do something that is not in the best intentions then that means that I have failed and need to do something better or different to make up for it.

But the issue is with that thinking is that I am putting myself back under the law which is never something that I could live up to in the first place. I began thinking about how we forget that although that we are still sinners and will still make mistakes we are ultimately free from our sin and our former selves, we simply have to chose to live in that freedom.

As I was thinking about this, the song lyric came to mind. Through offering my devotion to him I can experience being free from the whole concept of constantly striving to do/be best and always coming short of the perfection. It's kind of ironic, offering devotion (becoming a slave to something else) in place of being a slave to perfection. But being devoted to King who died for me is much better then being devoted to sin which has come to destroy me.

Death vs. Life?
I choose LIFE !

New Life

This week I had the amazing opportunity to see a new life enter this world. It was actually one of the most amazing things, big smiles and giggles were included.
One of the perks of driving the extra mile to my clinical placement is that my tutor has been working in that hospital for a while now which gives us more access to the facility which renders more learning opportunities. This means that the individuals in my group have to opportunity of seeing a c-section.
It was this week that I had to privilege. My name was drawn from a lottery and I got to go.

IT WAS AMAZING!

Watching it was super cool and it all happen very fast. The doctor makes his incisions into the belly, once he opens the sac (breaking the water) the assistant pushing the baby out and there I saw new life entering the world. It was amazing to see a baby for the very first time in real life. It was beautiful. The father had the opportunity to hold the baby first since the mom was a little busy being stitched up again. The baby was very beautiful as well. I was amazed that I could be a part of it. As the little one was coming out I had a huge smile on my face. It was amazing to watch the Dad see his child for the very first time and he also was able to cut the umbilical cord to make a belly button :)

Its been several days now but  I still get a really big smile when I think about this small event since it really did not take that long but how much of an impact it has. One moment it is just a idea and the next it is a reality.

WOW!

Stikin to it

Its been over a week which means that I need to update! It is midterm which means that it is one hectic stressful week, now with two midterms behind me I am exhausted and I still have clinical prep for tomorrow. Thursday night will mostly be spent on the couch :) I just need to make it there.

Something that  I tend to do when exams/midterms come is I get into the "zone". Nothing matters except, eat, sleep and study. So I often forget of things that have happened early in the week that are really rather important. One of those things being Sunday.

Over the past little while have been really struggling with having anything to do with God because I have placed myself under the law again. As a academic student I am driven to do know all that I can and be right as possible to get the good marks and so that I can be a good nurse. This was translating into my spiritual life. I was assuming that God wanted me to be good so that I was accepted by him and that he would bless me. I was stuck in the law.

All during that week I was really contemplating this idea that I was not choosing to follow him. I knew that I had to make a choice and order to do that I needed an awaking. So Sunday came around and I had the week off of Sunday school. I usually still go because consistency is important to establish good relationships with the kids there.

Between putting my coat up and walking I landed in the sanctuary instead of Sunday School. Being there was a blessing.Through the musical worship and the Lord's supper Jesus reminded me of something very simple.

HE LOVES ME

He loved me even when I sucked. Like royally sucked and had no concept of who he was or what he done. He has always loved me. That Sunday was definitely refreshed me that day and I think it really helped me get through these two midterms. God is good, even when I am not.

AMAZING, MY GOD IS AMAZING. HE HAS NO BOUNDS AND NO LIMITS.

Jesus please help me never forget that.

Library Home Bodies

I like doing homework in the library. There is often enough mix of silence and people talking and things moving that I am able to concentrate well at school work and get alot accomplished. There are still days were I find my self simple sitting there on facebook because I am soooo bored with homework.

I have come to notice that there are the regular library home bodies. The people who tend to be there al ot. There are ways to recognize these people pretty easily.

1. They often bring a blanket to help them keep warm. Since we tend to be there for a while we often tend to bring a blanket to keep ourselves warm.

2. Footwear. Library home bodies tend to have either no foot wear or slippers while they walk around. This is because since they will be there for a while there is no point of wearing boots.

3. Seating arrangements. These people will often have a favourite spot in the library. You can notice it because they look determined to get there and often do not look around for other spots. But if their spot is unavailable, u might see us pause look around. Sit at another spot but soon as the favourite is open we might re-locate there.

So with being a Library home body myself these are some things that I have observed about myself and others. So the next time your in a library see if you can spot one ;P

"Not everyone is like you"

A friend of mine said that to me today during a conversation that we had which got me thinking. During this week I have been able to spend a lot of time on a christian campus surrounded by Christians with the talk of missions, culture and adventure all around me. Then I re-entered into my work environment where things were much different and sometimes I really have no idea how to deal with them.
I went off to class and I was talking about how I sometimes missed being in that environment where everyone was happy and polite and decent conversation was discussed. My friend then said,
"Not everyone is like you"

Which is true, the issue is now that at this moment I had just created what everyone thinks a christian church and person should be. Yet we are still broken mess up people too, people who get angry, hurt others and make fun of others around us. We as Christians are not perfect but that can be very well implied by what I said.
I often struggle with expecting people to live like I do because I know that it is right because God said so. The issue is that this whole mentality of living like ME is focused on ME! I have become prideful of the fact that I am a good person completely forgetting that I was God who saved me and I would be in the exact same place as they are without Him.

I need to go back to the basics of
a. God has saved me and I couldn't do it myself even if  I tried (which I have...)
b. because he has saved me and I have to Holy Spirit I need to be co-operative with the Holy Spirit to be able to develop the fruit... none of which include pride or looking down on ppl

I need to be content and remember that this world is not where I belong and at times I will feel uncomfortable, it is how I manage this uncomfortableness makes the difference.

So over the Snow!

A few days ago I attempted to walk out the door with shoes on which result with me turning around, grabbing my boots and putting them on while I was sitting in the car. I have to say that I have never ever ever ever ever ever been a fan of winter because I am not a fan of all the extra requirements winter requires such as hat, mitts, scarves, boots and coat.... and that is just to get out the door! Then there is waiting for the car to be warm up while I am freezing my phalanges off to scrap the windows. I am looking forward to the days were no shoes are requirement and shorts and a t-shirt do perfect job of keeping me cool in the summer sun.
I thought to brighten my mood, I would share some pictures of things that remind me of summer to hopefully get me out of these unpleasant winter days.

New Look means New Start

YAY!  I have to say that I am rather excited to finally have a new look to the blog and some adjustments. A fresh look gives a fresh start which I am looking forward too... which starts NOW!

To make a very long story short this summer I really didn't have a much of a break between work and a summer course and some personal life tribulations. I walk into my first semester of 2nd year nursing already tired so by the end of the semester I was more then completely burnt out. Then Christmas break came and  I was soooo more then ready. I have the amazing privilege to go to Cuba!!  I hope to post some pictures soon :) It was such!! a huge refresher. So now walking into this next semester I actually have discipline to get some work done... which is a huge blessing since some exciting things are coming up :) :

Having had a legit break has really helped to re-discipline myself to not waste time but focus on my homework and get to bed on time. This semester happens to be slightly more organized and I am doing a stats class which means I get to use a calculator! I know its kinda sad but I actually missed math.

So a new year means a new start and so far it has been starting off pretty good :) I hope to be here more often to share some thoughts and reflections through the eyes of a nursing student with a heart for Jesus