Backpacking in Killarney

My friend Haley is an awesome human and invited me to go backpacking through one of the trails in Killarney provincial park. I had never done anything like this before but it was amazing. We did a 4 day hike-in with everything we needed in 2 backpacks. It was really hard and rugged but amazing. I wanted to share a few thoughts and a few pictures.




Haley is very experienced at this and I trusted her fully - I never doubted her care for me or her lead on the trail. The "faith without doubt" concept - is much smaller right now in my personal faith. I need to feed my faith and remember how big God is.

The experts in the world say that going for a hike out in nature does one good to reduce stress. I would say it's true. This 4 day hike did not solve all my problems but it did definitely stabilized some brain synapses. I feel a little lighter.

Oh how I miss oak trees. Outside of this trip I could not remember the last time I saw an acorn. Stating that fact to my husband today made me teary eyed. I dearly miss being close to a forest and I really miss oak trees.

I am really proud of camping out for 3 nights (one of which resulted in serious frost on the ground) and feeling happy and content. I am strong and capable and can kick butt when required. Not everyone can do what I did and actually enjoy it and I am proud of that.

Those are my thoughts from my trip - not mind blowing by any means but right now they are a good place to start.

Keep Showing Up

During one of the conversations I was having at the rock climbing gym I was talking about an event that I was helping out with the youth group at my church. My friend asked me "What is youth group?" I was honestly taken aback by the question because youth group was 'normal' to me... something that I always knew existed and assumed everyone else did too.

"So what do you do?" was his next question and it was hard to give an answer.

"...well, I just show up really; I show up each week and talk to them, I listen to them and I let them know that I am around. I am consistent and if they need to talk, or if they want me to pray for them then I am here."

Being asked that question made me reflect on my own experience of youth group and the influences that have led me to be the leader that I am today.

Jr. High leader Mike - Mike showed up every week and loved music. I have very fond memories of listening to Toby Mac Portable Sounds album on the way to an event. I also remember asking him about his life, about him getting married and having kids. I was so naïve then and was super surprised that he wasn't married. Well Mike is married now and my heart swells seeing him with his wife and kids. Mike taught me the importance of conversation - invite the youth into your life, share your interests.

Sr. High leader - I don't remember her name but I do remember that one day she just stopped showing up. I still remember the feeling of being disappointed - that she didn't give us notice or anything. As an introverted person myself it takes energy to build relationships and I wasted time connecting with her. This leader taught me the importance of being consistent, those youth notice when you are gone - keep showing up.

Sr. High leader Denise - I remember Denise as this intense, super awesome women that was vulnerable and willing to walk along side me regarding my faith. Some of the stories she shared about her life I still remember and call on. Denise taught me the importance of being vulnerable - my stories remind the youth that I am human too, my struggles and triumph remind them that they can get through it too.

My youth leaders Ministry of Presence impacted my life then and have influenced the way I lead now. Thank you for being an example and helping me pass on the lessons you taught me. I will keep talking, stay vulnerable and I promise to keep showing up.

*To anyone who doesn't know Youth group is a weekly gathering of youth  (gr.9-12) at the church - we eat food, hang out and talk about Jesus. We also do monthly events and go on retreats every so often too.

Momentary Human Connection

A couple of days ago I went to the bar that a friend was performing a gig at. This was very much out of my comfort zone and not a place where you would normally see me. I was nervous walking in and I even asked my friend "so how do I buy a drink? I have never done this before"

Makes me laugh now... but guess what?! Bars in real life are like the ones you see on TV. 

We were sitting close to the front with the band I was supporting and a gentleman asked "how is your career going?" I was rather confused to be frank because I am a nurse not a musician, the gentlemen however thought I was a musician because I was sitting with all the instruments.

Anyway a few moments later that same gentlemen asks me to dance - a beautiful soft song was playing on stage and I said yes. This man ( I don't even know his name) said some very nice and kind things, compliments. {I have promised myself to accept compliments as they are and be grateful} The thing was, at the end I was like " I am taken, I am married...." and made it a rather awkward ending. ugh..

In that moment - 2 strangers enjoying the magic of music had a connection - however momentary - had a really beautiful human connection. I knew he knew I was married. I knew where I stood in my marriage. What I did not need to do was assume that the gentlemen wanted something more then a dance. I had friends behind me looking out and watching. I was safe and I knew where I stood. I missed out on truly experiencing a beautiful moment because I assumed the worst. In the future I want to embrace the connection - the momentary human connections that made our world beautiful.

Defining my Purpose

Aimless is defined as one without direction or purpose. Wondering aimlessly - moving but with no sense of a target, goal or direction.

Aimless would be a good word to describe the last little while, not really sure what to do next. How do I proceed into this time? What even do I want to do or achieve?

I recently completed a "Power of Purpose" Masterclass facilitated by Janice Stone. A wonderful women who I have had the privilege of knowing for a very long time. I had shared some of struggle with this aimlessness and she invited me to join.

And WOW! What an amazing experience it was! She encouraged us to see in ourselves new perspectives and challenge ourselves to find the best of who we are and what we value and then to create a statement. To define our purpose and apply it EVERYWHERE. In our work places, in our friend groups, and all other activities.

So this is me.

I will cheer on and care for those around me in the loud and quiet spaces to let their creativity and uniqueness be noticed and valued. 

Defining my purpose has provided direction in my workplace and in my personal life. I think slowly it will help to see my work life in a new light which I desperately need - burnout as a nurse is SO real. I am grateful that God gives all us unique and beautiful gifts that provide purpose that is unique to each one of us. 

** If you are interested in defining your purpose check out janicestone.ca , you will not be disappointed!**