Self

If anyone would come after me, he must deny himself and take up his cross and follow me

-Jesus

Self. It has these desires of staying up late and sleeping in, drinking to it's heart content with only it in mind. Selfless. It has the desires of serving others, waking up early to spend time with a close friend; a King, and to go to bed tired from doing service for others. The battle between self and selfless has been one that has been dueling within my body and soul. This current battle that has been happening has not been to pretty either, with self often winning. With the battle looking pretty low I found the outside having its repercussions, being angry, doing things that I would not normally do and wondering astray.

The amazing thing about my the King is even though this battle was looking aweful, he came through, like he always does. I simply forget He is there. The whole time that I thought selfless was lossing I kept seeing foreshadows of victory, Him never giving up on me. Calling me through unexpected answered prayer, revelation of his word through communication with others and him pressing upon me to get back into his word through several differant sermons I stumbled apon with his guidence.

He calls me to deny self, it's desires, wants and infatuations with the world. I have discovered over the last little while that this is a choice that I must make and each moment of the day, each day of the week and each week of each year. I am simply grateful for the fact that that once the choice is made, he will help me stick to it, from start to finish.