The nice thing about reading my bible and then guarding the pool after is that I have a good chunk of time to think, chew, meditate on what read. I have been going through a reading plan that divides it into 4 sections.
Psalms and Wisdom
Pentateuch and History
Chronicles and Prophets
Gospels and Epistles
Its been interesting reading through this way because I am only reading a little of everything every day. The neat thing about it is that I do not feel overwhelmed about what i have to read about each day. Reading Chronicles feels like a fast tract through Israelite history. Like one of those overview courses which bombard you with information to give you the whole picture. I am already at Davidic Covenant, something popped out today that i haven't really thought about before. David has this pretty awesome palace that he lives in and then realized that God 'lived' in a tent, so he asked if he could build god a house too. Nathan the prophet that he talked to originally was like Sure! go for it! But God told him later to go tell David that he wasn't to do so. His son was instead.
As I was watching Aqua fit I was going through all of this and came up with some interesting thoughts....
So! Building a temple for God was not a wrong thing. I completely understand Davids thought process "I live in a Palace and my Lord lives in a tent, that does not seem right!" to me that does not seem to be right either. But God told him that no, now is not the time, rather God simply wanted David to enjoy his palace. What got me was that David wanted to do the right and good thing but God said no.
It gave an interesting perspective on missions... or at least at 7am it did. Back in last October/November I was presented with the statistic that 90% "religious professionals" serve the 10% of Christians here in N/A while the 10% are serving the other 90% .... or something along those lines. This was the biggest factor for me and still is.... why should i stay hear when there are so many others, I want to be a part of the 10% and not add to the 90. I continued to ask myself why others didn't feel the same way, but David gave me a different perspective, for some yes fear and other factors are holding them back from his call, but for others God is saying 'no' or 'not yet', he wants to use them with the 90%.
What really got my thoughts spinning was the fact that logically in my mind it made sense to be a part of the 10% ... why would I go where everyone else? The people else where need me more then here! And I think I still hold to that, becoming a nurse opens so many doors to restricted access countries, but it has made me think.
It has made me become more aware of the fears and challenges that will be faced over seas. Yet I have talked to one to many missionaries to know that these fears are real but God is bigger then all of them.
A reflection of these moments through the eyes of a Nurse with a heart for Jesus
Monday, October 31, 2011
Saturday, October 29, 2011
Nice to meet You
You know how there are people that say "when I get to heaven I want to meet Abraham" Well I would like to meet him too.... and a whole bunch of other people BUT right after I see Jesus, I want to meet a guy this I read about today.
We don't know his actual name but the very seldom but people's names in anyway... either a cultural thing or it simply wasn't that important to them. Anyway there was this dude was had a whole bunch of demons in him, and he was CRAZY. Like unstable crazy, like running around naked in the cemetery and super strong can break chains crazy. So people were pretty terrified of him. ( I would be too)
THEN! He gets healed by Jesus. and when the people see him, he is dressed, sitting at the feet of Jesus in his right mind. The people when they see him are still super duper scared of him and Jesus too. The people actually tell Jesus to leave because they are so scared of him.
The cool thing is though is this guy who got healed sooooo desperately wants to go with Jesus. But Jesus tells him to go and tell others about what has happened to him.
So the reason that I want to meet this guy is to hear his stories of telling others about Jesus. I want to hear his testimony of what his life was like before and after, especially what it was like to grow and tell others.
So many times I find myself getting so excited about hearing new people come to Christ and want to hear how they get there and often forget that is only the beginning of the story. We forget to LISTEN to the rest of the stories. I want to hear about his stories and how he told others about God and how he learned more about Jesus. It would be so interesting to hear what he felt like when Jesus was crucified and then raised back to life. Or if he got to read the letters that Paul wrote or the gospels that the others wrote. I wonder if Luke actually ever talked to him about his story. So many questions to ask him.
In the mean time there are people all around me who I think have similar stories. Missionaries who, at least I think, would love to tell there stories about everyday life of what they went through and what happened. Past the stories of people coming to know Christ and past the stories, but of people growing and also the hardships that they face. So what do I want to do, Listen to stories.
We don't know his actual name but the very seldom but people's names in anyway... either a cultural thing or it simply wasn't that important to them. Anyway there was this dude was had a whole bunch of demons in him, and he was CRAZY. Like unstable crazy, like running around naked in the cemetery and super strong can break chains crazy. So people were pretty terrified of him. ( I would be too)
THEN! He gets healed by Jesus. and when the people see him, he is dressed, sitting at the feet of Jesus in his right mind. The people when they see him are still super duper scared of him and Jesus too. The people actually tell Jesus to leave because they are so scared of him.
The cool thing is though is this guy who got healed sooooo desperately wants to go with Jesus. But Jesus tells him to go and tell others about what has happened to him.
So the reason that I want to meet this guy is to hear his stories of telling others about Jesus. I want to hear his testimony of what his life was like before and after, especially what it was like to grow and tell others.
So many times I find myself getting so excited about hearing new people come to Christ and want to hear how they get there and often forget that is only the beginning of the story. We forget to LISTEN to the rest of the stories. I want to hear about his stories and how he told others about God and how he learned more about Jesus. It would be so interesting to hear what he felt like when Jesus was crucified and then raised back to life. Or if he got to read the letters that Paul wrote or the gospels that the others wrote. I wonder if Luke actually ever talked to him about his story. So many questions to ask him.
In the mean time there are people all around me who I think have similar stories. Missionaries who, at least I think, would love to tell there stories about everyday life of what they went through and what happened. Past the stories of people coming to know Christ and past the stories, but of people growing and also the hardships that they face. So what do I want to do, Listen to stories.
Tuesday, October 25, 2011
This week has been crazy and yes I hate to admit it... stressful. With my Anatomy Midterm complete and done and over with.... not looking forward to the results, I have been listening to some music and was blessed with the lyrics.
With other things going on in life such as waiting for the One, I was reminded that God does have a plan for my life. The dreams and desires of my heart to follow and serve him are not in vain.
Rest assured; Dreams don't turn to dust
-Owl City
After practically failing a midterm I went for a run and remind that my God was sovereign and simply needs to be worshipped
This year has been alot of taking one step at a time. And at the end of each day I want to
Love you like its automatic
make you into my good habit
your the only one that really matters
every minute everyday day its automaticly ok
when I make it all about you
-Stellarkart
With other things going on in life such as waiting for the One, I was reminded that God does have a plan for my life. The dreams and desires of my heart to follow and serve him are not in vain.
Rest assured; Dreams don't turn to dust
-Owl City
After practically failing a midterm I went for a run and remind that my God was sovereign and simply needs to be worshipped
Holy God
Creating, Commanding, Transcendent Adonai
defending love destroying sin
the warrior divine
-Brian Doerkson
This year has been alot of taking one step at a time. And at the end of each day I want to
Love you like its automatic
make you into my good habit
your the only one that really matters
every minute everyday day its automaticly ok
when I make it all about you
-Stellarkart
Tuesday, October 18, 2011
It's Not Worth Anything
Midterms, essays, book reports, papers and those major projects are all slowly creeping up which makes for a very stressful time of year.
Facebook, video games, baking, eating, playing sports, going to the mall and pretty much anything else that will help one procrastinate from studying looks even more wonderful. (blogging could be included....)
Much of our procrastination time is spent on things that really aren't worth much like endless hours on facebook or watching mindless TV to attempt to give us a break and distract us for a moment. The issue is though that this procrastination time leaves us stressed and for those who are pro enough not to procrastinate and their brains have simply shut off cause we are using them to the max also leaves us super duper overwhelmed and well .... STRESSED!
As a Christian have you ever thought about what God thinks about your stress?
Well I have actually.... a little and would like to share my thoughts
So! First I would like to identify what the stress is.... more like what I think it is.
The bad kind of stress that leaves one feeling sick, flustered, and disillusioned with all the homework or tasks that one faces is the type that I am discussing here. We are worried or concerned that something will not get done on time or something will go wrong or someone will be upset etc.
So what do these have all in common? Several things actually! First for the most part they are not in our control (in regards to homework we are told that we should have had better time management skills.... for some YA RIGHT!). We as humans love to have our grubby little hands over everything and control everything. Second for the most part these things will come to pass and not make a huge difference in our lives to come ... I do understand how life changing decisions do not apply to this.Yet?
Does stress make it happen any faster or more effectively?
Does stress bring us any closer to God? in my case no i feel far from him
Does stress improve our lives in any way, big or small?
Does stress do anything for us? NO!
NO!
NO! NO! NO! NO!
NO! NO! NO!
NO!
From those questions my personal conclusion is that
Stress is not Worth it, any of it
I made the commitment this year not to be stressed because it's not worth it. Not worth my time, my energy or my emotions because in reality none of those are mine anyway. There God's. Everything that I am and have is his and from what I understand of who God is he does not want me to suffer like this and I do not have to. Yes we are still going to feel overwhelmed with work and our personal lives but even with this chaos swirling around us we can and should find peace in knowing that he is holding us and everything around us together.
Facebook, video games, baking, eating, playing sports, going to the mall and pretty much anything else that will help one procrastinate from studying looks even more wonderful. (blogging could be included....)
Much of our procrastination time is spent on things that really aren't worth much like endless hours on facebook or watching mindless TV to attempt to give us a break and distract us for a moment. The issue is though that this procrastination time leaves us stressed and for those who are pro enough not to procrastinate and their brains have simply shut off cause we are using them to the max also leaves us super duper overwhelmed and well .... STRESSED!
As a Christian have you ever thought about what God thinks about your stress?
Well I have actually.... a little and would like to share my thoughts
So! First I would like to identify what the stress is.... more like what I think it is.
The bad kind of stress that leaves one feeling sick, flustered, and disillusioned with all the homework or tasks that one faces is the type that I am discussing here. We are worried or concerned that something will not get done on time or something will go wrong or someone will be upset etc.
So what do these have all in common? Several things actually! First for the most part they are not in our control (in regards to homework we are told that we should have had better time management skills.... for some YA RIGHT!). We as humans love to have our grubby little hands over everything and control everything. Second for the most part these things will come to pass and not make a huge difference in our lives to come ... I do understand how life changing decisions do not apply to this.Yet?
Does stress make it happen any faster or more effectively?
Does stress bring us any closer to God? in my case no i feel far from him
Does stress improve our lives in any way, big or small?
Does stress do anything for us? NO!
NO!
NO! NO! NO! NO!
NO! NO! NO!
NO!
From those questions my personal conclusion is that
Stress is not Worth it, any of it
I made the commitment this year not to be stressed because it's not worth it. Not worth my time, my energy or my emotions because in reality none of those are mine anyway. There God's. Everything that I am and have is his and from what I understand of who God is he does not want me to suffer like this and I do not have to. Yes we are still going to feel overwhelmed with work and our personal lives but even with this chaos swirling around us we can and should find peace in knowing that he is holding us and everything around us together.
So if you are feeling stressed I would suggest to do this, take a couple of very deep and slow breaths, calm your body down and go somewhere that is quite and be still. Be still and calm and quite and know that God is God.
Be still and know that I am God
Saturday, October 15, 2011
Friday Frenzy
So I have to say though most people enjoy Fridays because its the weekend and for many college students its party time for me this Friday was more of a flustering brain dead test day. And some thoughts and special little gifts were given.
The chaos began when at 11pm Thursday evening when I realized that I had potentially lost a master key to a city building, NOT a good thing. So after searching my apartment I came to the conclusion that it was not there. So I wake up at five hoping that someone will get to work a little early to let me in praying that I would find my key in the parking lot or in the driveway. I didn't find my key in either of these places which in all reality was a very good thing. It was sitting rather nicely on the desk in the guard office.
A restless night was Thursday's. First of the semester and it didn't have to do with school. I was fearful that I was going to get fired or I would not get everything done in time and just plan freaking out that I was late. When it came down to it though its 5:30 in the morning... 5:50am by the time in the building... who in the world would be up that early to fire me for not having a key? plus! I could get all the necessary things done for the pool in that 10 minutes.
Soo... it got even more interesting when I was just finishing up the pool duties and decided to drop the end of the buoy line on my toe and it started bleeding at large. Oh morning craziness! I still don't understand how that worked :P
The ironic -thing about this whole situation is that on Wednesday night I decided to start memorizing Romans 8:28-39 (I think) and the first verse goes like this
And we know that in all things God works for the good of those who love him, who are called according to his purpose.
So Thursday rather then freaking out about my key I simply could have remembered that good wanted something good to come out of this ordeal. And something good did happen :) My toe bled. I know kinda funny huh? Glad that my toe decided to bleed. Well I will explain why...
WARNING! this could get somewhat graphic for those who are not huge fans of the subject.
Anywho! So there was a couple of minutes that it took for me to get a band aid on before I could go clean up the deck where I hurt my toe. When I went over there it was really cool to see how my blood had already clotted (at least I think it did) around the edges. To contain its self. Now God could have made blood that way so it would be easier to clean up I don't know. OR he created it for us to look at and marvel at the mystery and beauty of the human body. Thinking about how there were living cells on the deck that God created to feed my muscles oxygen and other important nutrients. It was really neat to think about. God shows up in amazing ways each day to bless, encourage and challenge us to remember who he is!
The chaos began when at 11pm Thursday evening when I realized that I had potentially lost a master key to a city building, NOT a good thing. So after searching my apartment I came to the conclusion that it was not there. So I wake up at five hoping that someone will get to work a little early to let me in praying that I would find my key in the parking lot or in the driveway. I didn't find my key in either of these places which in all reality was a very good thing. It was sitting rather nicely on the desk in the guard office.
A restless night was Thursday's. First of the semester and it didn't have to do with school. I was fearful that I was going to get fired or I would not get everything done in time and just plan freaking out that I was late. When it came down to it though its 5:30 in the morning... 5:50am by the time in the building... who in the world would be up that early to fire me for not having a key? plus! I could get all the necessary things done for the pool in that 10 minutes.
Soo... it got even more interesting when I was just finishing up the pool duties and decided to drop the end of the buoy line on my toe and it started bleeding at large. Oh morning craziness! I still don't understand how that worked :P
The ironic -thing about this whole situation is that on Wednesday night I decided to start memorizing Romans 8:28-39 (I think) and the first verse goes like this
And we know that in all things God works for the good of those who love him, who are called according to his purpose.
So Thursday rather then freaking out about my key I simply could have remembered that good wanted something good to come out of this ordeal. And something good did happen :) My toe bled. I know kinda funny huh? Glad that my toe decided to bleed. Well I will explain why...
WARNING! this could get somewhat graphic for those who are not huge fans of the subject.
Anywho! So there was a couple of minutes that it took for me to get a band aid on before I could go clean up the deck where I hurt my toe. When I went over there it was really cool to see how my blood had already clotted (at least I think it did) around the edges. To contain its self. Now God could have made blood that way so it would be easier to clean up I don't know. OR he created it for us to look at and marvel at the mystery and beauty of the human body. Thinking about how there were living cells on the deck that God created to feed my muscles oxygen and other important nutrients. It was really neat to think about. God shows up in amazing ways each day to bless, encourage and challenge us to remember who he is!
Friday, October 14, 2011
Silence can Speak more then Words can
I am standing there in the crowd watching as the events fold out. Watching the chief priests with the scribes and the elders and the Sanhedrin accuse Jesus of things that he did not do. I am standing on the outside watching the events unfold.
That's what if feels like every time I open my bible to the book of mark. I feel like I am right in the middle of the action. Reading about what happened to Jesus before his crucifixion is so challenging, I do not want him to die. Today I entered into Pilate's domain and watched how the traditions went down, and a few things caught my attention.
First Jesus is standing their bound with rope, tired since he has been up all night and beaten from his trial in the night. He stands before them, hearing these constant accusations that are not true at all yet he remains silent. He didn't defend himself in any way against these false accusations. He remained silent for me and the countless others who were and are saved by him. He had every right, every reason, to say that everything that they were saying was false; but he didn't. He stood in silence, and because of that Pilate was amazed. Jesus did not defend himself but rather he simply stood there knowing that he was in the right and what he was doing was not for himself but for others.
I think we need to learn from that.
Ultimately though Jesus stood silent for me and countless other like me. He stood there not defending himself so that I could be saved. It would have been a lot easier from him to say something but he did not. He was silent for me.
It is not always necessary to let others know that you are indeed right. Its not necessary to defend yourself about something that you know is right. Sometimes you just let them know and let them come around in there own terms in there own way. I wonder if Pilate ever did that?
That's what if feels like every time I open my bible to the book of mark. I feel like I am right in the middle of the action. Reading about what happened to Jesus before his crucifixion is so challenging, I do not want him to die. Today I entered into Pilate's domain and watched how the traditions went down, and a few things caught my attention.
First Jesus is standing their bound with rope, tired since he has been up all night and beaten from his trial in the night. He stands before them, hearing these constant accusations that are not true at all yet he remains silent. He didn't defend himself in any way against these false accusations. He remained silent for me and the countless others who were and are saved by him. He had every right, every reason, to say that everything that they were saying was false; but he didn't. He stood in silence, and because of that Pilate was amazed. Jesus did not defend himself but rather he simply stood there knowing that he was in the right and what he was doing was not for himself but for others.
I think we need to learn from that.
Ultimately though Jesus stood silent for me and countless other like me. He stood there not defending himself so that I could be saved. It would have been a lot easier from him to say something but he did not. He was silent for me.
It is not always necessary to let others know that you are indeed right. Its not necessary to defend yourself about something that you know is right. Sometimes you just let them know and let them come around in there own terms in there own way. I wonder if Pilate ever did that?
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